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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29779821">And To Your Mountains There Is No Returning</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPurpleCarrot/pseuds/QueenPurpleCarrot'>QueenPurpleCarrot</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GOT7, TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Princess Bride Fusion, Anachronistic, Angst, Buckle up folks, Choi Yeonjun is So Done, Drama, Fluff, Humor, I Tried, Im Jaebum | JB as Count Rugen, Jackson Wang as Prince Humperdinck, Jeon Jungkook &amp; Jung Hoseok | J-Hope are Best Friends, Jeon Jungkook as Inigo Montoya, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope as Fezzik, Kim Namjoon | RM as Buttercup, Kim Seokjin | Jin as The Clergyman, Kim Taehyung | V as Valerie, Kim Yugyeom as The Albino, M/M, Mark Tuan as Vizzini, Min Yoongi | Suga as Westley, Multi, My Brain Took This Plot And Ran, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Park Jimin as Miracle Max, Soft Choi Yeonjun, Story within a Story, TXT Exists But BTS Doesn't, Three Kingdoms Period (220-280 CE)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:08:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,733</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29779821</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPurpleCarrot/pseuds/QueenPurpleCarrot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Thanks so much,” Yeonjun drawls before grabbing a fleece throw from the back of the couch and draping it over himself. It’s not quite the day he pictured, curled up in his nice, warm bed, but this won’t be so bad. Probably. Maybe. “Alright, settle in, children.” Thumbing to the beginning, Yeonjun clears his throat. “The Princess Bride by S. Morgenstern. Chapter One.” He pauses for dramatic effect, lets a deep breath settle in his lungs, and begins.</p><p> </p><p>Or: The one in which Yeonjun will do anything to shut his dongsaengs up, and if he has to read a period-drama full of fencing, fighting, and true love, then so be it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin, Kim Namjoon | RM/Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>And To Your Mountains There Is No Returning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title from The Orchid Door.</p><p>Chapter title from Roller Coaster by TXT</p><p>My plan is to update once a month (being a second semester senior is not as easy as everyone made it out to be). Endless thanks to Anita for beta-ing this ball of trash.</p><p>Happy reading and stay safe out there. &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The shriek bounces down the hall, skitters under the door, and smacks Yeonjun over the head with the force of a forty-ton truck. He yelps and his flinch sends his book tumbling from his lap to land on the floor with a dull thud. Yeonjun glances around his room warily. What are the odds that a dolphin managed to smuggle itself into the dorm unseen? One in a million? One in a couple billion? He notes the dry floor and the fact that their security hasn’t rushed up here to protect them from a runaway aquatic mammal, and decides they’re probably safe from a Dolphin Catastrophe.</p><p>Resigned, his gaze settles on the ceiling, staring at it balefully as he accepts the identity of the real culprit. It’s just his luck that Yeonjun’s sweet, youngest dongsaeng has the loudest, highest, scream known to man, and that he enjoys employing said scream at every imaginable opportunity. Yeonjun shakes his head disapprovingly, but least he’s not causing anyone bodily harm. With a heavy sigh, Yeonjun leaning over the side of the bed to rescue his poor book. Rearranging the blankets piled over his legs, he flips to the first page and tries again. “<em>The Princess Bride</em> by S. Morgen–”</p><p>His inner narrator is interrupted by a second cackle, this time accompanied by two indignant squawks, followed immediately by a loud crash. Yeonjun jumps so bad that his head smacks the headboard. Stars dance in the air in front of him and his left eye twitches with the onslaught of a sudden headache. He drags a hand over his throbbing skull, praying that it won’t leave a bump. The stylist noonas will lose their shit if they have to figure out how to hide a head injury, and more frantic yelling is the last thing Yeonjun needs. Speaking of… He shoves his sheets away and stands in a huff, taking his book with him, determined to get back to it as soon as he deals with his bandmates.</p><p>The moment Yeonjun pulls open the door, the muffled, indistinct noise becomes a cacophony of scuffling, shouting, and swearing. He braces himself and stalks into the living room. Even though Yeonjun’s expecting absolute chaos, the scene still manages to surpass anything he could have imagined. The dining table is lying on its side, little legs hanging in the air pathetically, and the chopsticks and songwriting notebooks that were resting on the surface have slid to a heap on the floor. Soobin sits curled up in the corner of the couch, holding his phone in limp hands as he stares at the mayhem in front of him, eyes wide and unblinking. He has a white card in his ruffled hair, matching the ones thrown around the room. And in the eye of the hurricane is the maknaes.</p><p>Taehyun has Hueningkai in a head lock, which is doing nothing to stop the boy from laughing his ass off while his hyung bellows something about “cheating” and “when you break a pinky promise, I break your fingers.” His words are broken up by staccato thumping, courtesy of Beomgyu, who’s sitting on Kai’s legs and smacking his exposed belly with a toy hammer. As the maknae laughs, he waves a little bell in the air, hitting it over and over gleefully. Soobin finally looks over at Yeonjun, cringes, and shakes his head. He had no part in the destruction of their dorm and was simply forced to watch the train wreck. Yeonjun grimaces, nodding stiffly to their leader before turning to the mess on the floor.</p><p>“Yah!” The youngest boys jump at Yeonjun’s voice. Good. Let them have a taste of their own medicine for once. Beomgyu scrambles off Hueningkai and drops the hammer, scooting it behind him in a futile attempt to hide the evidence of their interrogation. Taehyun releases his near death-grip and Hueningkai lets out one last victorious cackle, cut short by a forehead flick. He pouts at Taehyun, but Yeonjun speaks up before he can get flicked again. “Why can you punks not spend one day of your lives peacefully? If it hadn’t occurred to you, we don’t get days off very often, and some of us,” he glares at the youngest, “can’t relax when a siren is going off in the next room. What was so important that you had to shred one of our floor cushions?” He eyes the scrap of gutted fabric with distaste, then strides over to the couch and plucks the card from Soobin’s hair. One glance at the five little strawberries on it and everything becomes clear. “Halli Galli?! I thought we agreed after New Year’s that we would never bring that game into the dorm again.” Everyone winces at the memory of that disastrous event as two fingers poke at Hueningkai’s biceps.</p><p>“Hyung! It was all his idea, and he promised to play fair this time!”</p><p>“We pinky swore and everything!”</p><p>“And you really believed him? Because the last twelve times weren’t proof that Hueningkai will never stop cheating at this game?” Yeonjun rolls his eyes, amazed at Taehyun’s gullibility. And their fans think he’s the smartest member. Hah. “You have five minutes to clean this place up or Soobinie’s going to ask the managers for extra dance practice tomorrow.”</p><p>“No way.”</p><p>“Hyung wouldn’t do that to us.”</p><p>“Yeah! He hates dance practice just as much as we do!”</p><p>Yeonjun stares at Soobin, silently offering the entirety of his wrath should he choose to side with their donsaengs. Soobin swallows and looks at his bandmates.</p><p>“You heard him. Five minutes.”</p><p>There’s a shout of indignation, which Yeonjun quells with a stern look. He settles next to Soobin and leafs absentmindedly through his book, keeping an eye on the clock. Five minutes later, he looks up. The room is more or less back in order, thank god. They have a dining table again, and their eating utensils and writing implements rest neatly on its surface. The only casualty is the cushion, so they’ll have to take turns on the floor until they can buy a new one. And those cursed white cards are sitting in a stack at the head of the table. Yeonjun has half a mind to throw the deck in the trash, but it’s still in pretty good condition, albeit a little bent. They can take it to the agency tomorrow and let another group discover the havoc it wreaks. Maybe Enhypen can have it, as long as he never has to look at it again.</p><p>Yeonjun’s broken out of his musings by a heavy weight draped against his arm. He turns to find Beomgyu cocooned in a blanket, chin hooked over his hyung’s shoulder, hand reaching to tangle their fingers together.</p><p>“You’re reading?”</p><p>“I do that sometimes, Gyu-ah.” He’s still irked that they disturbed his free time, but he doesn’t try very hard to stop the nickname from slipping out of his mouth. His free hand runs through the boy’s hair, scratching his scalp lightly.</p><p>“What book is it?” It’s Taehyun this time, wiggling his way between Yeonjun and Soobin, who lets out a disgruntled sigh as he’s pushed against the arm of the couch.</p><p>“<em>The Princess Bride</em>,” the English words slipping comfortably from his mouth. Hueningkai hums in understanding and then translates for the rest of the members: “<em>Gongju Sinbu</em>.”</p><p>“Huh. It looks old,” Hueningkai continues, sprawled on the other arm of the couch, as he leans over Beomgyu to peer at the worn tome. The cover is a rich, emerald green except where the fabric has been rubbed to threads by repeated use. Its numerous pages are gilded in gold, gleaming slightly under the overhead lights, and the scent of petrichor wafts from it like a cloud when Yeonjun flips it over in his hands. It does look old, in the way that prized possessions tend to – loved and cared for, in spite of the passage of time.</p><p>“What’s it – wait, Kai, stop it. You’re squishing me.” The boy in question is trying to shove his long, gangly body onto Beomgyu’s lap, elbowing his hyung in the ribs. Yeonjun tuts disapprovingly, informs him that “cheaters sit on the floor,” and dumps him unceremoniously off the couch. Even so, Yeonjun steadies the maknae with a quick hand, keeping his head away from the sharp, upholstered edge of the furniture when he flops backwards. If he’d rather stab himself in the heart than see the younger boy hurt, nobody needs to know. He has a Cool Hyung reputation to maintain, after all.</p><p>“What’s it about?” Beomgyu finishes his question now that he can breathe, snuggling deeper into the crook of Yeonjun’s neck.</p><p>“Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge. You know. The usual.”</p><p>“Woah. Hyung, that’s kind of badass.”</p><p>“You don’t think I can be badass?”</p><p>“We all know you’re a big softie,” Soobin chimes in from where he’s been messing around on his phone, content to play Candy Crush now that the Banshee Trio’s performance is over.</p><p>Yeonjun rolls his eyes, but stays silent. He can be a soft, cool hyung. “There’s also chases, escapes, miracles. True love.”</p><p>“Awww.”</p><p>“Big softie,” Soobin mutters with a smile.</p><p>“Will you read to us? It sounds good.”</p><p>“Read to you?” Yeonjun doesn’t splutter, but it’s a near thing. They’ve never asked him anything like that before, knowing he’d much rather be eating or dancing or sleeping. If they ever wanted someone to read to them, Soobin’s the obvious choice. “Me? Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yeah!”</p><p>“Please, Yeonttomeok?”</p><p>“It’ll keep us quiet,” Taehyun wagers. Hmm. That’s a good point. Anything beats ear-splitting screaming.</p><p>“We’re sorry for earlier, hyung.”</p><p>“Yeah, we didn’t mean to make such a mess.”</p><p>“Aish, I know that. Just use your brains next time, please?” At their eager nods, Yeonjun sighs and shakes his head fondly. “Binnie? You interested in hearing the story?”</p><p>“Not really, but I’ll try to stay awake for you. Moral support.”</p><p>“Thanks so much,” Yeonjun drawls before grabbing a fleece throw from the back of the couch and draping it over himself. It’s not quite the day he pictured, curled up in his nice, warm bed, but this won’t be so bad. Probably. Maybe. “Alright, settle in, children.” Thumbing to the beginning, Yeonjun clears his throat. “The Princess Bride by S. Morgenstern. Chapter One.” He pauses for dramatic effect, lets a deep breath settle in his lungs, and begins.</p>
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